Then as suddenly as they had entered his fingers were withdrawn, and I was empty again. He wiped my lips dry with a tissue and stripped off his gloves...and came around to the side of the table. He told me everything looked fine with my physical and if I was sure I wanted to proceed he would explain the details of electro-stimulation to me. Well with his ministrations during my exam I was sufficiently aroused that I was in no mood to back out now. I nodded my head that I wanted to go ahead. He. Me- So what? You sent me your private pics after marriage. I remember them. You were so hot that I also felt kinda hot for you.Spoorti- What? You think I’m hot?Me- Yes, you see I masturbated many times thinking about you.Spoorti- Really?Me- Yes, that blouseless saree thing is always my favorite to imagine.Then we went on sharing each other’s fantasies. She liked that I imagined her in a sexual way because that gave her a fantasy of having sex outside marriage. She loved it.In following days we. Jeron and I head to the floor, the floor is getting crowded, we are close now, very close. bodies moving together. His hands are all over me, and mine are all over him. He moves his hands up to my neck and tilts my head up and kisses me on the lips. As our tongues dart in and out i’m conscious for the first time of being a white girl being naughty in public with a black man. Then it fades away as we continue to kiss. A few more songs, more fucking with our clothes on and he asks me, “are you. Whether it was this ‘him’, or that ‘him’, didn’t really matter. I’ve poured myself into making it ‘work’ over and over only accomplishing to tear a hole in some guy’s heart and leave myself drained and devastated. I’ve spent the better part of my adulthood trying to convince my spirit that life was easier with a man by my side. At the cost of many self sacrificial moves, I’ve buried myself again, along with any resolution to my current conundrum. I found a needle in a pile of hay a couple days.