We never pretend we’re not enjoying ourselves. The men next separated my wrists and clipped me spread eagle using a rope to each hand. Before usin... the last two ropes, they attached bands just above my knees, pulling my thighs even further apart.“Smile.”Oh yes. Starting even before my initiation, the original charter members decided that pictures would be encouraged. But the girl doesn’t know this until after her indoctrination. And by the time they let you off the hook you think it’s a. I want to put ice on my hands for a while before bed.”“Do they hurt?” she asked.“A bit. They’ll be swollen tomorrow though, so I want to do a little to ease the swelling tonight.”We said goodnight and I went to get ice. I filled the bucket up with water to the top of the ice and stood at the sink for twenty minutes with my hands plunged into the ice, grateful for the cold. I dried off my hands and crawled into bed, hoping that they wouldn’t be too stiff in the morning.Sunday was a completely. I was embarrassed and afraid. Would she tell dad and he would kill me? Would she kill me herself? Would I be grounded forever? I looked mom over as she stood there waiting for an answer. What does one say to answer that question? All I could mutter was "Sorry mom." "Sorry ya git caught, sorry ya snooped, or sorry for jerking off looking at your own mother?" Her tone was not so nice now and it hit me way wrong, I mean given the situation. "No, I'm not sorry in truth. I mean I'm sorry I got. And so I motioned for her to come on. Looking back, it amazes me that I remembered to ask her name. (‘What was it?’ I asked.) Connie. Oh God, sweet Connie. It was really cool how the other guys left me alone, and started acting almost respectable. And there really wasn’t any party left, once we got back to Mike’s place. You know, I learned the true meaning of friendship that night. Connie and I had a beer. Okay, well I had a couple more actually. I honestly can’t remember why everyone else.