Lookingback, I wish I'd paid more attention to my gut feelings while they werestill bubbling at the surface.But I didn't, and what had transpired at D.... Westerman's office totallyburied any misgivings that were there up till then. The two doctorsbasically rubber-stamped my ambition to change my sex! It all went soperfectly, I naturally concluded I was destined to have all the things Iwanted - after all, I figured, if everything was falling into place soperfectly, it must be exactly what God had. You know our pod. Cheer-up. Three cheerleaders with a brother and sister who would fuck them all. Being split away from the pod, Leslie lost her cheer. She’s depressed and has been for months. And now she’s mad at me for volunteering to work beside her. The best friend she’d made out here committed suicide just before I got here. Leslie was on the brink.”“Suicide? Over the job?”“It’s depressing, Jacob. There are people out here who would have ended up in a job like this one way or another. ’ It was the pause before weekend that really hooked me. What was she going to say? Week? Month? Summer? Year? Life? God did I ever know how that pause felt from the other side. I almost sat down on the couch next to her right then, but something about the way she sat, the fact that she was as far away from me as she could get, made me pull up a chair instead. I turned it around backwards so I was sitting facing her with the back of the chair between us before I sat down. ‘Well let me tell you. I’ll be glad to be with a woman. Like you said, I might like it.” “That’s my girl. Now, sweetie, I bought you another little gift. Let me go and get it.” I was now feeling sick to my stomach. I couldn’t believe he was going to make me sleep with a woman now. I have only ever been with men. I just can’t keep up with all his fantasies. Here I had thought that I’d proposition him to have sex with me and we’d just have an affair together. But no, he’s a man who has all these twisted sexual.