He looked at me with an amazing expression of love and lust and I didn't worry about my withered leg or my body's asymmetrical appearance as I stood t...ere, waiting for him to reach out to me, and touch me -- really for the first time, face-to-face, with both of us knowing exactly what we wanted.And knowing what both of us wanted was exactly the same thing.And I knew I didn't give a damn what my father would think. I didn't give a damn what my mother, or my brother, or anybody else would think.. “Hi Seth,” she said, her voice quiet and breathy. She held my hand longer than was needed for shaking and asked, “Are you feeling better?” She really didn’t seem angry. She seemed genuinely concerned about what was bothering me.That morbid, self-loathing part of my mind had expected her to use the quiet and the distraction of the spokeswoman to make her accusation and possible threat, and another part of my mind thought she might not want to make a scene among so many strangers and would wait. I again thought about the fact that I was short one concubine. Then I came to my senses.The service was comforting in its predictability. Song, opening prayer, three songs, communion service, song, sermon, and final song. I didn’t need to use a hymnal; the songs were all ones that I had memorized as a child. The arrangements were all four-part harmony, and I knew the tenor and bass lines. I had been singing with Paula and the girls, so my voice was in fine fettle. I threw back my head and. ..I better not say." Oh, come on, Charlies. It's just a little crush. A crush is the mostflattering thing in the world. You're telling someone she's attractive, andinteresting, and provocative. It's a great compliment." She smiled andpatted her hair. She looked pretty in the dim light of the world."Well, I mean all those things. But what if they're married to one of yourgood friends?"She grinned. She looked at me."He'll just have to live with it. All love isgood." Do you know what gob-smacked.