Could it really havebeen a test of his interest in me, as he'd said at the time, crude anddisgusting as it was? If I became a woman and he decided the... that thathe wasn't attracted to me, wouldn't it have been much better, that he had"tested" me that way? I snorted quietly enough so that he wouldn't hear.Hah! Was I now joining countless millions of women who made excuses fortheir men?I slowed down, taking it slower as my feet started to hurt. This one Icouldn't blame on Leonard. I shouldn't. Mom wrote of their encounters together, things they did after that, the time they spent. And it wasn't in general details either, but very explicit in nature, the way she described my Aunt's naked body, how she looked, felt, smelled and tasted as the two of them played together.I sat back trying to digest all of this. Words mom had actually used, written down in her book were words I had never heard her ever utter before. "Sucking her ... your clit," words like "fuck" which again I'd never. I mean look at those legs! You havevery attractive legs, so why not show them off a little? Is the dress toogirly? I don't think so. I mean I wear that dress a lot and I never getany comments that it is over-girly. Plus it's blue so it won't hurt yourmale ego to be wearing an unmanly color."Jessie looked himself over again and it did feel nice to be dressed up alittle. He looked down at his legs and admired the shimmer of the nylons.Ashley was right; he did have some killer legs!"Ok, I was. My mom is an amazing woman, you know, she told me that she had had lots of lovers .. I thought that was kind of fucked up, you know, I mean, she is married to my dad, so why is she out there fucking around on him, but she said 'Sylvia, it's the real world, honey, not a Barbie one, I need a lot of sex, I don't know why I just do, doesn't mean I don't love your dad, I do I love him, he is my husband, he is my man, he is for sure my best friend in the world, but sometimes, not all the time, I need.