Kathleen started. She put so much emphasis on thewords, Amanda felt there might be something more behind it, althoughshe was sure that her boss had co...pletely missed the inflection. Sureenough the man launched into a happy bouncy tirade of one that knew asale would occur."Well Miss, you've come to the right place you have. No place else tofind a house but from a realtor's office, and we're the best in town."Amanda thought wryly, 'the only one in town'. "We may be a small town,but we have some. ” He sighs, “When I’m dead I won’t feel any pain. And when I’m dead I won’t feel anything.”A smile comes over Cynthia’s face. “I know the songs you’re singing, saying nothing loud and clear. I’ve heard that song a thousand times. But your shallow empty lies about suicide are patronizing. You can never understand what I feel.”He looks hard at her, deep into her eyes. “Or do you think I’ll be less lonely when I’m dead? I can’t silence all the voice in my head. I close my eyes, but I can’t make it. Walking into find him still asleep, I sipped his coffee, then put the tray on thebedside table and leaned down to kiss him. My passionate kiss woke himup like I'd hoped it would. His strong arms wrapped around me and heldme against him. My own arms had become a lot more slender as I nevercarried anything heavy."Mmmm.. that's one way to wake up a man princess. I didn't know you werescared of lightning," he softly asked me as I took in his scent, thescent that I used to have."I'm not, not usually. Maybe it's not so bad being her-at least if I can let my parentsknow that I'm still alive, just so that they don't have to mourn mydeath.Then I felt my stomach churning at the thought of my new boyfriend.He's going to want to kiss me and cuddle me and tell me how much he lovesme and I'm going to have to pretend that I truly love him back. Not thatI'm a homophobe, but he and I are both male although he won't know that.And it won't be fair on him either; he would be sickened if he knew who.