How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?She said ... We don’t know; it has never happened.He said ... Why is it difficult to find...men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?She said ... They already have boyfriends.She said ... What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?He said ... A widow.He said ... Why are married women heavier than single women?She said ... Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.Married women come. She rushed into his arms, crying. He kissed her as she wept. “Surprised?” “How? When? Why?” “Shhh,” he said. “The Colonel insisted I come home and surprise you and the girls. And last night was amazing.” “Last night? It was you?” she cried. “It sure as fuck wasn’t Santa Claus,” he said as he pulled her panties from his pocket. Victoria took the panties from his hand as Richard kissed her deeply, tongues dancing, bodies crushing. Then they both heard, “Mommy! Santa was here!” Victoria and. The softest arms in all of Tamriel reached for me and held my neck, and the owner led my face to hers as I dropped my blade and turned for her. I could not see but I knew who it was, I could see her in my dreams. I knew her scent. We cradled each other, and my legs locked with hers. Our glossy bodies slid against each other, and we rhythmically pulsated and flowed together. I could not hold her tight enough, and we constricted each other, our breasts together. I slid down and began nipping at. I gave her a peck on the cheek and sat at the other sofa. She hogged the more comfortable one and was reclined on it in her old housedress, not exactly the most attractive of garments. The tune announced the end of today's chapter probably at the exact point where the heroine will learn that her mother is really her sister."Dear," I told my wife, "I'm famished, what did you do..." I sniffed the air and found another thing amiss. There was no delightful smell in the air."I was trying to tell.