“Give it to me, please” I beg and you try, but you can’t give me everything because you don’t know of it.I writhe under you, my reactions plea...e you, deceive you, because you’ve never seen me when I’m in bed with somebody I desire with my whole being.Your mouth is tight on my nipple you suck them hard and “without desire it hurts me” but I won’t stop you.“Kiss me” You say and I sink a little bit further as I realise how bad a job I am doing of pretending, but I never wanted to pretend don’t you. Louise and Jessica had gone to the shops during the afternoon and had not yet returned. There was a scribbled message for me to ring the labs and see what the news was. I dialled the number and asked to speak to Barbara Mackay-ffinch. Fortunately, I didn't know how the name was spelt, or I would certainly have tried to pronounce the hyphenated part with a stutter, Mackay-f-f-f-finch."Barbara Mackay-ffinch", said a husky voice. The soles of my shoes melted."It's to do with some tests you were. It was England though, and weather was unpredictable. It was nice to have something warm to drink. It also gave me something to do when there was a lull in the conversation.We chatted a little longer, our conversation remaining very shallow. I think both of us were too afraid to ask what we really wanted to, or to talk about our meetings a few years earlier. She asked me plenty of questions about Bobby, and the proud mummy that I was, I talked for several minutes about him and his achievements. I was sitting in my Parents Apartment in Gardena California, (Father and Stepmother of sorts).On a Sunday Morning bored shitless and with nothing to do mid 1963. Sometime time before John was killed). I had not too long before returned from Exile from London England and I was trying to readjust from the English World of Work to American High School. I was not doing too well at it. I have a little bit of my fathers lonely hearts club fetish, fruit does not fall far from the tree and sometimes.