"Oh oui! Mercibeaucoup." Je n'ai pas droit ? une r?compense?" Ok, je ferais la cuisine aujourd'hui... ?a te va?" Ce n'ai pas ?a que j'avais imagin?." ...l mit son doigt sur sa joue, "Justeun petit bisou?" Chris! Tu exag?res!" Mais il se pencha pour embrassa son cousin.*****"Sam! Tu n'es pas encore pr?t?" Chris attendait avec impatience ? l'entr?ejusqu'? ce que Sam arrive. "Ah, enfin, tu es aussi long qu'une fille!Allez, on y va."Ce que Sam ne dit pas ? son cousin, c'est pourquoi il avait ?t? si. No, seriously, we used condoms, so it was all good. Except, he couldnt make me come, Sonya said, as though it was the most normal thing in the world for her to say something like that to me. Maybe Id kept the lines of communication a little too open in the past. Too much information, I said hastily. Well, its true, Sonya said, still undeterred, It felt like there was more to come, but it never happened. I sighed, and seeing that Sonya had raised the subject, and showed no sign of being. This went for 10-15 minutes and my husband was shocked that two men were asking such questions to his wife and his was answering too. Many things he also didn’t know @ me. But the most shocking part was waiting. Dr. Shah said “Mr. Rajesh – we need to examine your wife” and without waiting for his nod both doctors stood up and asked me to sleep on the table which was in same room. I stood near table and they pulled a curtain which prevented my husband from seeing me. We were in same room, he was. I could not help but feel out of place in my home. I could notstand being waited upon when I felt that I was born to serve. Mymasculinity was an accident of birth and my wealth the product of luckand a little skill.Shortly after I got home and settled in, I called Lorena. I couldn'tleave that part of my time as Lupe alone. I knew I would be going backand a lot of it had to do with Lorena. Nothing was drawing me towardsbeing a man, and she was pulling me back towards femininity. She was thefirst.