She had spent several days in near depression after Jullian's departure. She had tried to act as if everything was normal for Charlie's sake, but seve...al times he had asked if everything was all right. She had concocted a story about a close high school girlfriend passing away, but then had to make up additional excuses when Charlie insisted that, since they had been so close, he and she would attend the funeral. In addition, Charlie, as was often the case after he had been away for a day or. But as the November page blew off the calendar and the first day of December rolled in, everyone on the ranch felt relieved. Jesse and Christie were friends. Sort of. But something was broken beyond fixing.Jesse had hooked up with a few men since that kiss with Christie, but his latest date was a little more into exploration. His sex date wanted Jesse to try out his fleshlight. A pussy fleshlight. A very accurate reproduction.“I thought you were gay...” Jesse was a bit confused“I am. Okay,. In my work, seeing larger meaning, or even hope, is often very difficult. For thirty years I've worked in the government of a large eastern city. First as an idealistic young program manager, then as a cop, and then after I'd taken a bullet which stopped my "let's-just-chase-the-perp-over-that-20-foot-fence" days, as an operative for the city's Investigation Department. We look out for corruption and for people trying to rip off the city with scams. Enforcement work of any kind can disillusion. I couldn’t bring myself to date other women. What girl wants a boy who fantasizes about being a girl during sex? What female wants to have sex with a boy who dresses himself in lingerie because he likes the way the fabric feels on his freshly shaven skin? No young woman in the church would tolerate that. Still, I couldn’t stop playing out these fantasies in my head and acting them out alone in my dorm room on the weekends. The result was an overwhelming guilt. My fantasy world became a place of.