"We were just watching TV," said Kyle as he took a seat on his bed. "Jess thought it would be good if we got to know each other. We'll be living next ...oor all year, right?"Ian took a long swig of his soda before answering. "So the little lady wanted me to come over to play? Hell, she's right—we should get to know one another. You start."They made small talk for perhaps half an hour. Kyle and Jess told Ian how they met—they were high-school sweethearts, and they were planning on getting engaged. I don't know what the big deal is. So I got a little high. She gets high all the effing time, you know?Melissa looked up, and then around the room, blinking. What was that noise? Then she heard it again and her naked upper body erupted in gooseflesh, her eyes bugged out and a shudder like an earthquake tore down her spine. Were those footsteps coming up the stairs?Oh, my God! Oh, my God, she thought, panicking. She was wearing nothing but panties, her bedroom door was wide open, and someone was. "But why would your missus not only refuse the invitation but not tell you me and Sadie were getting married?" Pure unadulterated snobbery, Baz, that's why." I held my pint of Murphy between two hands. "She could accept me, her ever loving husband, as being from the lower classes ... a chav and an oink ... but she wasn't going to have friends or acquaintances of that ilk. She knew I would accept your invitation, and would insist she attend the wedding."Sadie Butcher got out of her armchair and. It described things like "amazinglyample yet perky bosom," "face like worthy of the goddess of supermodels,"and "sumptuous curves to put a stripper to shame." Brushing aside theunwelcome pride at how well I fit some of those descriptions, Irecognized that it was all in my handwriting, even the signature at thebottom. The only thing off was the spelling. It looked like I'd written"Brian" instead of "Brianna," but with my sloppy cursive that wouldn'thold up in court."You sure do love yourself,.