" And it looks like you're here for a check up and to start hormones, isthat correct?" He says while sitting on his stool and rolling towards me."Yes... Sir." He takes my blood pressure, some blood, listens to my pulseand runs through some other test. "Well your going to need to startdieting more if your hoping to get the best results on these hormones.Now why don't you place your feet up in the stirrups and I'm going tocheck your privates. " I look over to Danielle who is grinning ear to. That's what happened today and I had to cancel a work meeting and pretend a domestic emergency, but I made it in time.With Mistress, I had an access to her house by the garage side door and was expected to strip naked in the garage and leave my clothes there before entering the house by the communicating door. This time she had instructed me to go to her kitchen and wait there quietly at her pleasure. I could hear her talking in her lounge adjacent and a lttle laughter before her invitable call. It was gross. So I certainly couldn’t open the sun roof and it was really warm and humid on my Royal Naugahyde seat covers.I was always behind in my studying because of work and little interruptions like Siza. I had to catch up, studying whenever-wherever I could. And so when I got out of the car to walk back up to school I realized my khaki slacks were all wet, soaked in the back with sweat, in my crotch, GAWD! It would look like I peed my pants.I always thought khaki looked kind of tropical.. And what is it that we fear, what incalculable force could make hiding away from life a better option than taking the rudder of own lives in our hands? Pain of course. None of us (well… mostly none of us) like pain. It is another common denominator of the universe, that pain is something to be avoided at all costs. Why? Our physical response to pain, mired in the primordial ooze of our creation, is what stokes the fires of our fears. Our desire for one more breath, one more sunrise, one more.