She would not be overlooked. She would not be ignored.Mildred Dean would triumph.It was time to reach for my own ambition. I needed power to help her....hat was why I strode through the executive floor of our company. I passed bubbling water feature, a cascade of liquid tumbling down a rock wall dotted with salmon rendered in a Salish Indian motif. Stylized and beautiful. It added a coolness to the air. The plants growing around it were meditative. Peaceful. A place to find your zen amid the. I was counting on getting some today." Call Carla, Walter. Tell her that you were thinking about her and little Walter, and you wondered if the two of them would like to go get a pizza with you." I need the rest of my money to pay for tomorrow Barry." I'll loan you twenty bucks Walter. Go ahead and call her. Ask her just like I told you to though, for her and little Walter to go out to get some pizza." Walter got up and walked into the kitchen. I heard him talking on the telephone. Five minutes. She quickly paid the attendant and waited for what seemed like a very long time for the little old man to produce her ticket. As she stood nervously at the booth, she looked behind her like a criminal watching for the cops. Then, with a ticket in her shaking hand, she walked into the grand lobby. She moved quickly past the concession stand, and into the dark theater, relieved to be out of the lobby.As Janice's eyes adjusted to the dark, she walked slowly down the isles. The movie was already. I just didn’t watch it that night. And no, it never gave me any ideas. As stupid as it sounds and please don’t get angry when I say this, in my mind I wasn’t cheating. I was just getting a physical need met. To me it was like perhaps going to lunch with a friend. I needed to eat; you weren’t there to keep me company, so I went with a friend. I know this may be hard for you to accept but this is exactly how I viewed, and to some extent still view what I was doing when I was fucking other men..