Mrs. O'Brian was so caught up in making brownies for the church social that she didn't get into our business about packing up for the overnight in the...woods. She didn't see the girls putting their bathing suits in the packs and didn't see me break down the air gun and stick it in my pack. I was not going unarmed into the wilderness. Well, maybe not quite the wildernesses because the gas station on the crossroads was close enough to be seen if you shimmied up a tree.With their mother busy in the. I.G with the basketball." I'd rather hit the lake." Sandra said. "Did you bring your suit withyou to swim?" I don't really look good in swim suits." Kevin said as he moved hishand across his crotch without thinking."You want to borrow one of mine?" Janet asked. "It has a lovelyattached skirt to it." Thanks." Kevin blushed."Good," Janet said with a smile. "It's settled then. After we finishour game, we'll hit the lake." Are you cheerleader?" Sandra asked as they began to spike the volleyball. A few days later I was getting gas at the truck stop. A sheriff?s carpulled in and the officer got out. It was Rob Bleskow. His sister was a yearahead of me in school. He was about twenty five, tall and very nice looking. Istrolled over and said hello. At first he didn?t know me, until I told him myname and where I lived. He nodded and told me that he patrolled our part of thecounty. His attitude was mildly condescending, after all, he was a big strongcop and I was just another high school. My fingers nervously flattened the wrinkles in the sheet next to me."Yeah, that kind of sounds like it. I'd just like to BELIEVE that I'm not ugly," I said, tears welling up again. I rubbed my eyes to clear them, and sniffled, then looked at Kira."Do you think that you'll EVER believe you're good looking?" Kira said, "given what your mother did to you?" She pulled a tissue from the tissue box on her side of the bed, and handed it to me. I dabbed at my eyes and nose. "Think about it. You wonder.