I smiled, a little tired, whispering, "Hi."She looked at me, not realizing I was awake. I think I startled her.She whispered back, “Hi, can't sleep?...��I quietly explained the alcohol thing which she understood. She said she had a hard time sleeping in unfamiliar beds. It takes her like three days to acclimate. We lay whispering, both unable to get back to sleep.After a few moments, I yawned; looking into her eyes, I asked, "What do you do when you can't get back to sleep, Tanika?"I could almost. While she took care of that, I got towels and soap, as well as shampoo and other things ready for her.Abby let me raise her up and walk her into the shower, without either comment, or resistance. She seemed completely docile as I took the soap and washcloth and washed her, starting with her head and hair. Such was the dirt and oil matted into it, her hair was plastered to her scalp. After several repeated soakings, she was looking human again.When I discarded the soiled washcloth and used a new. Now, to me, these things are a very necessary part in my relationship with anyone, and I have the feeling that I'm holding on to the relationship because of the fact that it's easier to stay together than to break up. Yes, I do love Karen, but does that mean I'm in love with her? I don't know anymore. I can't say yet that I love you, but the potential is definitely there, and I do feel it very strongly. But I can't bring myself to say that to you yet. Maybe because we haven't talked to each. I was too, I got hard with my hand round her throat or spanking her and whipping her, but i think that was all really the part of me that wanted to be receiving not giving, she went off to university out of town and we drifted, she met this guy there and, well I’m not exactly the most heavily endowed guy, at least I got to see how happy she was when a real man was fucking her, here, take a look.*Anonymous648 has uploaded a video*Anyway… so I started to fixate more and more on my fantasy, mainly.