Sitting on the potty to pee was only an anticlimactic confirmation that the changes were more than skin deep. The sight of myself as a little girl sho...ld have come as much more of a shock than it did. I guess I was too numb from the knowledge that my mother was gone. A part of me said that this was my fault, what I deserved for wishing for what I'd gotten. But if that was true, why my mother? She didn't deserve to die. Why not me? I deserved to die. A part of me wished I was dead too. The rest. Blacks would be like me screaming, "Look atme! I'm the boy wearing pantyhose!" "Yeah. So you are wearing a top in which you can see your black brapeeking through, a black tennis skirt and the most feminine pair ofpanties I own and your concern if what people will think of your wearingpantyhose?" Ashley replied sarcastically."Well yeah, I don't want anyone to think I'm light in the loafers." Right. Try on the pantyhose and if you don't like them I won't make youwear them ok? Just try them on. But to my shock, she slapped me and gave me 10 minutes long lip-lock kiss. I was in cloud 9. She said that she just wanted to have sex with me for long. I was so surprised to hear that and I replied saying that I was ready to be her sex slave.After the kiss, I touched her belly and felt the warmth of her body; it was divine. Shreeparna then said, “Don’t wait, just ride”.I being naughty just moved my finger to the sensitive parts of her body such as her navel, armpits, neck, and chest just to. 'You're fucking her now', I screamed in a jealous rage, 'it's been two months since you were last with me', I sobbed.'It's your fucking hormones', he counteracted, which made me angrier, as there was nothing I could do, with either problem, my hormones and the possibility he was shagging the girl at work.On the Friday morning they left, I lay in bed thinking about what they might be doing, then I remembered what we did on such occasions, and I suddenly found myself creating little scenarios.