I wished I could just come clean with him about everything that hadhappened. I wished I could speak openly about it, for both his sake andmine. I hate... having to keep it all buried inside, especially since Iknew he knew that something was bothering me that I couldn't talk to himabout. I tried, of course, as best as I was able. I kept crouching stuffin hypothetical and metaphor, but well, it's not the same. The irony, Iguess, was that even if I did tell him the truth there's no way he'dbelieve. I would lift and bounce Joyce up and down, trying to shake her from her pants. I had a great view of what I always wanted to explore, but there was no way to get a hand free and explore, not even for a second or two. I curled my arms and bounced Joyce furiously, but her pants wouldn't budge past her knees.I'm sure that Joyce and I had been wrestling with each other for at least half an hour. My confidence was beginning to wain, but my desire was just as strong as ever. I was now sweating. She said, well I saw you too. You always go to the park at night and let a couple of black guys fuck your ass. I told her yep, and I even got him to do it, just like he did you. We can't tell anyone about this, I said. I want to see him stick that in you. Well let's set it up. Okay, she said, then asked me to take her mom to the shower and tell her you want her in the shower wink at him and he'll make her go. While you do that I'll be doing him. I laid in the tub and told her to rid. ' A lot of poking goes on with that last one."Anyway, after my dad, you were really my first. He raped me. You made love with me with your hands and then in the bathtub, I raped you," she said as they both laughed.Steve gave her a peck on her cheek, bowed his head and offered, "I'm glad I was your first." Thanks, " Judy replied. "Glad to make you of service."Then returning to be more serious, she continued, "Please be gentle with Sam and go real slow. I know how tight she is and I was actually.