My lawyer and I walked out and he told me to keep my nose clean. He also said I owed Kathy big time. I knew there was no doubt there.I called my boss ...nd told him I would be at work on Tuesday. He seemed happy that he didn't have to fire me. I worked the rest of the week. I couldn't get my mind off thinking about Kathy. I didn't have her cell phone number and I wouldn't dare call the Jennings' house.I wasn't allowed back in the restaurant due to the fight. So I didn't get to see her. I did pull. ‘Let yourself take as much as you need.’ I drank deeply. The infusion’s warmth spread down my throat into my belly and began radiating out into my back and chest. Within moments, the mug was empty. She wiped my mouth with a linen napkin. ‘How do you feel?’ she asked. ‘Warm,’ I said. ‘But in a very good way.’ ‘Like you’re soaking in a bath?’ ‘Yes, it does feel like that. But from the inside.’ She sat beside me on the couch. ‘Good. That means it’s working.’ ‘What will it do to me?’ ‘Help you. In some instances I thought I was having some measure of success. I got back into my old routine of waitressing at the restaurant during my evenings, and spending my days off with Seth. When I was around him, I forced myself to stay in the present, and to not let my mind wander to where it always seemed to want to go. Life seemed so different after my little adventure… so… benign. There was nothing to make my blood race or set me up on that sexual high I was starting to unconsciously crave. I. When I was in school I did not even discuss about sex and all as I considered it taboo (and at that time internet was not as prevalent as it is now). However slowly I became aware about sex and masturbation ( I used to look at ftv while no one was watching and go to some porn sites).When no one was at home I would open my clothes and masturbate while watching any item song on tv or any sexy picture in the entertainment section of the newspaper. One day afternoon ( when I was around 18) I was.