-Phyllis DillerOld age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.-Phyllis DillerMy photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.-Phy...lis DillerI admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.-Phyllis DillerTranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.-Phyllis DillerI asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'-Phyllis DillerThe reason the golf pro tells you to. Those precious weeks that Hitler lost attempting to clean up the Italian Army’s mess in Greece threw off his time table for the movement of heavy armor to the gates of Moscow and he discovered that he was in the same trap that had destroyed Napoleon’s efforts to destroy the Russians deep inside their own territory.I stretched out on the lumpy hotel bed in Marseilles tried to organize my thoughts about the Italian debacle in Greece. It had come at the worst possible time for the Fuhrer because. My uncle was just as drunk when my aunt Mary fell out of her chair all of us got a good laugh , then uncle Jim said take her to her bed which was a sleeping bag on an air mattress about 100 feet away .we all helped her into bed I was able to get some pretty good feels in while I carried her,all the while planning how I would get even with her. About an hour later I left the fire to take a piss on the way back I went by where my aunt was passed out she was laying still with her left tit almost. The best person to help you is your father. You can get your orgasms by playing with your daddy... as you did a moment ago." Are you sure this is right, grandma?" Of course it's the right thing, darling. Who in the world, other than your own father can give your hot teenage body orgasms frequently? A stranger might hurt you, and you can't get strangers frequently if you need orgasms frequently. Do you really like strangers?" I'm afraid of strangers."."So, while you are here, I'm going to help.