Was it the fumbling attempts at conscious communication, which still somehow seemed to miss the point? Or the disappointing sexual experiences, in whi...h I wasn't even brave enough to communicate my true desires? Regardless, I was filled with a sense of loss (paradoxically).I turned to one of my other great loves for comfort: gardening. A friend of mine took me out to the field to pull weeds at the commune where he lived. It was a delightful Spring day. Butterflies danced overhead, the wild. I stand up, reach for my poppers and give my dick a few tugs as I stare at the flashing images on my television. I start thinking of my dick as a clitty, and I open the popper bottle and take a deep inhale on in each nostril- “You are a fag- You are a sissy slut” I start moving my hips like a woman, staring down at Bam. I look up to see a giant black cock entering a sexy shemale ass while the voice in my head repeats, “You are a fag- You love black cock” I start to squat on top of Bam, just. You are so young and attractive, there is no man on earth who could resist such an opportunity. I decide you might not notice if I kept up the pretence of giving you a massage while I tried to view as much of your breasts as possible. I start at the base of your neck working up to just around your ears. Then I move back down working out until I reach your blouse. Your neatly pressed blouse is just hanging on the edge of your shoulder tips. I can look over your shoulders and see the bountiful. She looked at me and said matter of factly, "You know what I want. I saw you watching yesterday and I recognized the look on your face. You wanted to come in and join the party and I'm sorry you didn't. I was super horny yesterday and could have used another man. You up to a party today?"I liked Ralph, but it wasn't like he was my best buddy. At first working around the cast took some getting used to. The problem was that I kept trying not to touch it because I was afraid that if I bumped it.