She satdown looked me up and down. Now, I'm not usually a letch, and kidnappedand in pain doesn't do wonders for the libido as I bet you can imagine,...ut let me tell you I felt some stirrings looking at the wonder sat nextto me. Long curly red hair, green eyes, must be at least a D cup,perfect waist and arse, not a hair on her body except for eyebrows andhead. This woman was perfection, honestly. Sheer perfection. But allthe same, I could see what was coming and wasn't one bit happy about. Charlie turned to me with a wicked grin. ‘Come on Van,’ he said softly, holding out his hand. ‘Let’s have the jacket.’ I shook my head and stepped away. ‘No thank you,’ I said as politely as I could manage. ‘Savannah, dear, it’s too hot to wear black all day,’ Judith called as she walked away. Putting as much ice into my glare as I could I didn’t take my eyes off Charlie as I spoke to Judith. ‘Y’all can go on. We’ll catch up. I’ve got a quick call to make.’ Judith’s laughter tinkled off the. I just didn't know how to handle things at the time." Handle what, Mom? Tell me what was going on."Time for Mom to take a few really deep breaths."Well, Sweetie ... it's long and very complex. But I'll give you the basics and we'll go from there, O.K.?" Sure." Dad and I have been married for a long time. And sometimes things can get a little ... routine ... in a marriage." You mean, like boring?" Megan asked."Um ... I wouldn't go that far, but sort of. And Honey, I want you to know that I love. And the time in sixteen-hundred-and-frightened-to-death when the ol twat had fallen into a vat of rum, and nearly drowned trying to drink his way out. Mary Christmas: Yeah, I remember that. He got out three times to have a piss, then climbed back in. The twat First Elf: Twat. Mary Christmas: Twat. All cast members under four feet high turn towards audience. Cast: Boys and girls, Santa is a twat! Audience: OH NO HE ISNT! Cast: OH YES HE IS! Audience: OH NO HE ISNT! Cast: OH YES HE IS! Audience:.