From our bedroom Marie was noisily signalling that she was ready for bed and would not be seeing the New Year in, let alone come out dancing with me. ... sighed to myself at memories of parties I had been to back in Europe, of standing outside in the freezing cold as the clock chimed midnight. I contemplated the vest top and faded pyjama bottoms I was now wearing, remembered that it was 26C and unlikely to snow, and sadly concluded I was a latter day Cinderella.I had been messaging my friend in. The makeout session that started on the sofa continued on the bed, but Pam made it clear he could penetrate her whenever he wanted. "should... should I...lick...eat... go down there first" he stuttered. She couldn't contain the tiny laugh that took him back a step. "Sorry, no, I... I'm not here for me. If I was I could have picked any bloke on that beach or even my husband. This is your time... your first time, just focus on enjoying your self." The weight on Earl's shoulders just fell away. By the time I did, I was broke and my parents allowed me to move into my old room until I was back on my feet. Then my longtime lover decided to call it quits right after Labor Day.It left me in a serious state of depression and all I did was look for work and go home. At eighteen, I felt like a total failure. It was my boyhood friend Chuck that attempted to pull me back to the land of the living by personally inviting me to his Halloween party."Come on, you've been to my parties and they are. But I do now." I left that alone for the moment. Too many explosive, voilitile emotions surrounded that. Kris was leaving me openings left and right...and I was determined to be sure what she was thinking before I made my move. If she was hinting, one more day or week or month wouldn't make a difference. If she wasn't, and was just making conversation, I couldn't stand the pain and the humiliation again. We went our seperate ways that night, Kris kissing me again before she got into her car. I.