Pass me the ash tray she demanded , I held it in front of her she tapped the ash into it I was expecting her to take it but she just stared at me , I ...ut it back on the table and served Derek and Frank their teas , Get me the ash tray Celia demanded, it was right in front of her I obeyed she flicked her ash again , input it back on the table.Lift your skirt Celia said , I don't know why but since Celia had been in the room I had become very self conscious, shyness and embarrassed. I lifted my. Kelly and I are going to the service in Austin.”Shirley slumped down on a stool behind the bar and said, “I’ll put up a jar.”Ed went back around to the customer side of the counter and sat down on a stool. This had been far tougher than he had thought. He took a sip of the Coke and said, “Thanks. You’ll spread the word?”Shirley nodded and then suggested, “You might want to tell Maria. She’ll want to know.”Nodding his agreement, Ed said, “I’m going there next.”As Shirley worked through her. Can we get you anything?" Looking at her name tag he said...."Mrs McNally needs toileting...now Dot. If it's not too much trouble..." He rasped sarcastically and turned away. Lesley stood still as Dot mimicked him..."....if it's not to much trouble...Scottish prick...heehee...imagine being in bed with him, girls...eh...yuk....seen his tongue...it's always out of his mouth....double yuk...heehee"Lesley said nothing, just smiled. She checked her watch and saw it was two hours until finishing. And I feel like telling her not to bother, because even if my mom was somehow awake and sober, she still wouldn't care. And then she's coming back, and I can tell she couldn't reach her. And even though that's what I expected it still feels like a kick in the gut. But she's smiling and trying to be brave. For me."Hey Sam, how you feelin'?"I laughed, "You should see the other guy." And I'm putting on as much bravado as I can at the moment, but it's coming through a little false and she can feel.