I screamed like a bird that soars across the horizon. And all eyes were on me and I was dying in the pain that engulfed me and swallowed me whole. If ...nly I could die I would be happy. Laying eyes on my son erased the pain and closed the wounds on my face and body, it breathed new life into me and assured me that our souls are real, and that our pain however intolerable is fleeting and not in vain. I was afraid to touch him as if he were made out of cotton candy and my fingers could reshape him. He was a mistake.After a while, I began looking for other ways to enjoy sex without him. Masturbation, fantasy, some porn, a couple of toys, you know, some things to supplement the bend-me-over-and-that-was-it. I got into reading erotic fiction, which was mixed: good and bad and a lot of bad grammar and mis-spelling. Oh, did I mention I got an MA in Psychology and had a counseling practice for twenty-five years before I got married? I did. Try not to judge me too harshly for winding up how I. ”She smiled. “You don’t approve?”I gave her a wry smile. “I’m still getting used to the idea of twins. It’s not like I can send them off for a refund, right? Ten fingers and ten toes?” Were my babies healthy?I got a grin in return. “Twenty fingers and twenty toes!”“Oh, well, yeah, right.” I just smiled and shook my head. Twins! “Can I see my wife?”“You can see her, but she’s still out of it. She probably won’t wake up for a few more hours. Your girls are in the nursery.”“Can I see them? Can I. But that word leaves out love, makes my surrender an act of pure obedience, not one of mutual love and adoration. I adore Her. And I realize as Her tongue pushes into my pucker that She adores me in her own way. That she shows that I will kneel for Her, that we are one flesh, bonded in a relationship deeper than any one thing mere words might capture. “Roll on your back,” She commands, and I eagerly obey. And I feel Her breath on my thighs, softly kissing, my legs pushed apart and then Her.