I poked Janet and got up to go help. I knew if I helped and tried to be as good a girl as I could figure out how to be, it would go a long way toward ...etting Mom on my side. That would mean when she and dad talked about me being 'Lisa' a few more times it might go more the way I wanted it to!Mom said I should collect the hampers and take them to the basement. I went upstairs and dragged them all downstairs. On my way through, I noticed Janet was still watching TV! I didn't say anything with the. "Call the ship with the walkie-talkie," I said. "Let them know we're pinned down." No," Dr. Montoya said. "If they've got our people, they've got their equipment, too. They could listen in on our communications. This dock curves halfway around the shoreline. We can stay under here, and put some distance between us and them, on foot."That's what we did. We stayed under the heavy structure, walking bent over on the dry ground to avoid having to wade in the murky water under the dock. Soon we had. But ifyou want to do something, and you can't do it perfectly, you just haveto do it anyway as best you can. Hanging out with the other girls helpedthe most. They weren't surprised that I talked like a boy, andunderstood how I was trying to imitate them and fit in. Being a masseusewas a small safe place to practice, too: "Please undress and get underthe covers." "Tea or water?" "Too hard?" I could practice these littlephrases.Bit by bit, all these rough edges were sanded down. I stopped needing. I wasgoing to give them to you for your birthday but you obviously need themnow." She gave me a pack of Golden Lady 30 denier semi opaque black tights."Here let me show you how to put them on," Elizabeth said in acondescending voice taking the pack back from me and opening them.Just because I was born a man didn't mean I was born stupid I thought tomyself. She talks to me like I am a little girl getting dressed for thefirst time. Again she was leading me, thrusting femininity upon me.But I.