On the table between us stood a gallon bottle of cheap vodka and an overfilled ashtray. Some of the butts had fallen onto the table but Josh hadn’t ...oticed or simply didn’t care.He just sat there staring at the bottle while slowly sipping from a glass. I wanted to hug him and kiss him. Hold him in my arms and tell him everything was okay, that he would be alright as he moved on through life.The doorbell rang and after a long sigh he got up. I stayed where I was, no one would see me anyway.A. I told her about mytransition and about the joy of raising my daughters. She told me thatshe hoped to be able to "go all the way" also one day. One day, I askedher what her plans were in two months time. She didn't understand wherethe question was coming from. "Look Karen," I said, "pregnancies do notgo on indefinitely. By the look of you, you are in your seventh monthnow. In two months or so, everybody is going to ask where the baby is."She hadn't really thought of that, or even worked. Each had been wrapped individually and Mandy had squealed as she opened each one. Then in the toe of her Christmas Stocking was a blindfold.When she asked what it was for, Bob told her that there was a special surprise for her under the tree but he would lead her to the tree and would tell her when she could look.The living room had a 15 foot vaulted ceiling. Their tree was huge. They had gotten it from a nearby tree farm and even had them help set it up in their house. With the tree topper. My stomach twisted with the horror of what I'd done, how callous and selfish and unbelievably childish I'd been. I swayed on my feet and paused, secretly wanting Adam to come bursting out the door, to grab my arm and spin me about and apologize, to tell me his story and kiss me until I forgot it all.But he didn't.I started walking vaguely in the direction of home but with no real destination in mind. I didn't want to go home to the emptiness and the sound of Rhi and Adele's voices on my.