I immediately wanted to bang her, and she knew it. She had a boy friend at the time, but I could tell she was eye fucking me as well. But I needed t... talk to her without Tim being around... So my plan was to go to her house right when she got off school, because I knew Tim would be working. I needed to talk to her, I wanted her badly. So at about 3 o clock I went over to her house, sure enough, she answered, wearing those white knee high socks, that sexy plaid mini skirt and that white. My parents are agreed because she can help me with my studies. I was shocked a little how she can do such a thing but I now become clear she is not angry with me.That evening I went to her house she started teaching me and we took dinner and then started teaching me. It was around 10pm raining heavily that time she asked why I glanced at her like that. I did not reply. She came near to me held my hand and told not to worry and she will not tell to anybody. Then she asked whether I was attracted. After asking me why it took so long to reply. He thought he wasn't going to hear from me again. I just told I've been busy. Truth is I was too scared to, because what he put me through the first time was painful and I wasn't sure if I wanted that again. But after thinking about it for a while I kept getting excited/turned on/craving it all over again. At this point having him inside me again was all I could think of. So we decided to meet that night and I was super excited/nervous. Because at. My waist was thin, my hipsand ass round and fuckable. I had good curves. It seemed that Ifinally was the total package. Even I, my own worst critic by far,could see that I was pretty, curvaceous and sexy.And all of that beauty was going to waste. After the assault, I wasn'tinterested in doing much of anything, certainly not sex or exploring mysexuality. According to Ryan, I became "frigid." Here's an excerptfrom an entry in June."... I really just want him to hold me. He keeps telling me.