I embrace it. My energy comes from NOT knowing things and exploring; making unexpected connections that other people don’t see. I’m a ditherer, a ...onderer.Now I had to tell people what to do all the time, when I was so aware I might be wrong. Most problems can be solved in a number of different ways, after all. There are uncertainties. I hate how people so often speculate without even realising that’s what they’re doing - if you don’t know you have to act as if you don’t know and not as if you. One day Susan took on thirty camp guards sexually one right after the other. Why? To get some medicine to try to save the lives of some of our dying men."Finally, there was the last day. The guards ordered us to assemble in the center of the compound. I never did know why. At any rate, I fell trying to get up. The guard indicated I was to get ten lashes with his bullwhip. My thought was that at least it would be a faster death than starvation. But the next thing I knew, Susan's body was. But when he dropped his pants I couldn’t resist. His dick is eight inches long and almost as big around as my wrist. I just had to try it. It’s not that, well, you don’t satisfy me; you do. But some of the other girls talk about really big cocks and how great they feel and how hard they orgasm and I just had to find out.”“So you just screwed him?”“NO. I did not just screw him. I put his cock in my mouth and swirled my tongue around it, like I do you. He came almost immediately. He was gasping,. Filthy...hell-bound, bottom dwelling...imbeciles..."! The fact that Lisa didn't find it in the least bit funny, made it even funnier to us! "You dirty minded...cretinous...idiotic...fools...you make me sick"! Lisa, red faced with rage put her empty cup on the floor next to the settee and stood up quickly, "I...haven't come here to be insulted..." I too stood up, "Oh no? Where do you normally go then"? Lisa gasped and stared at me and with a shaking hand wagged a finger at me, "You'll see where.